Just like everything else in life, things sometimes go wrong — and that's okay. It happens; you just need to address it quickly. How you handle it depends on how serious it is: some things aren't a big deal, others really need your attention.
For example, say your au pair was sterilising the milk bottles, got caught up playing with the baby, and the bottles melted in the boiling water. Your first reaction is naturally, “You could have burned the house down and put the baby at risk!” Your au pair already feels terrible — and so do you. How do you handle it without hurting their feelings? Here are two tips for easing conflict and finding a way forward together.
1. Focus on the problem, not the au pair
If your au pair seems forgetful or easily distracted because they're overwhelmed by all the change, address the problem straight away. Let them know you understand how they feel and that you're there to help with the things they find difficult. “We” language helps: “We need to find a way to avoid misunderstandings around the house,” or “We both have a lot to figure out — don't worry, we'll work on this together.”
2. Give the au pair the benefit of the doubt
Say your au pair was a few minutes late picking the kids up from school. There could be any number of reasons — a long queue at the shop where they grabbed something you asked for, the dog getting out, an urgent call from home. Some explanations will be valid, some less so, but make it a habit to give your au pair the benefit of the doubt and try not to take things personally.
You and your au pair are both human, so it's completely normal to feel frustrated or irritated sometimes — we all have off days. But if you want to build a great relationship, start by handling conflict in the gentlest, most patient and kind way you can.